“Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!” 

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Growing up, I must have watched this movie over thirty times; most of the innuendo flew right over my head, but as I understand these references today, I wonder if jokes like this affected how I acknowledge the taboo surrounding sex. 

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Thankfully, Waynflete Upper School teaches a more appropriate SexEd, but even still I recognize a gap in our curriculum. I set out to interview a few Waynflete Upper School teachers, students, and whoever was willing to power through the awkwardness and talk about sex. My goal was to uncover Waynflete’s SexEd curriculum, and hear suggestions of improvement, as well as learn about how our SexEd has evolved and changed in the past years. Unsurprisingly, sex education is a more modern curriculum that Maine schools in particular are required to teach. According to Sex Education Collaborative, the program is still required to emphasize abstinence, and even though the Waynflete SexEd program exceeds more topic areas than just pushing abstinence, I am sure that we as a community could be doing more. 

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So, how has SexEd evolved at Waynflete? While conversing with David Vaughan, a current science teacher and former health educator at Waynflete, he told me about Students for Safer Sexualtiy: the SexEd program started by a group of Waynflete high schoolers in the early nineties. “It was a peer education program aimed at HIV prevention, education and other topics related to human sexuality that students delivered to other students,” David said. “And I think making sure that similar age or slightly older peers are involved in the design and delivery is a really good model. I would hope that that could be something that we could continue.” 

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David was not the only one who was keen to the idea of student-led SexEd. Allie Day, current sophomore and two-year Waynflete student, agrees. “It's very important to hear from your peers about sex. Not in a way that's gossipy, like, ‘this person is having sex with this person’, but in a way that goes beyond just anatomy. Because I feel like there's some sort of trust barrier between students and teachers around the subject of sex. You can't relate to them as much. It’s kind of, I don't know, it's kind of intimidating to be honest.” After experiencing the required ninth grade seminar last year, Allie and I agree that it takes a certain amount of maturity to engage in a conversation surrounding sex.​​ The awkward and gross stigma surrounding sex felt very present in the seminar classroom. “That class didn’t fully talk about the enjoyment surrounding sex, and we didn’t really learn about sex between different genders either,” Allie said. “You know, it was pretty much the consequences of sex between men and women. We need more than just anatomy.” Ninth grade seminar felt like a meek transition into high school SexEd, and as we grow into ourselves as young adults, it feels as though we are missing a chunk of important knowledge about sex.

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I joined Waynflete as a freshman, and never got to experience Waynflete’s Middle School SexEd. While speaking with John McDevitt – last year's ninth grade seminar teacher and current Middle School Dean of Students – he gave me a rundown of what Middle School SexEd is all about. “In sixth grade science, it's mostly focused around puberty and the way people's bodies change, as well as learning about identity and understanding gender. In seventh grade, we talk a lot about consent and what healthy relationships look like.” He explained how relationships and sex displayed in the media can give false representations of what is healthy and authentic. All in all, Middle School SexEd sounds great. And John agrees, “We really make sure we're doing what we should be doing to best support the growth of the young people here.” 

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So how – as a Waynflete community – could we improve our Upper School SexEd curriculum to be open to student input and enthusiastic about teaching us more about sex? Improvement happens gradually, and recognizing the gaps in the program is a strong start. August Faulkner, the student Vice President is looking to make progress in this area as well. “It's good to have activities and assemblies about sexuality and sex leadership, but I think we could go the extra step and provide spaces for those that want to talk about it a little bit more. It would be great to have a place where we’ll feel safe and comfortable doing so.” he said.  “And I think we can continue to progress in our community towards that goal.”